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JOKES
Old Age Jokes
Aged To Perfection
The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Recently, a neighbor tued 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. Even his son tued up.
“How old are you?” a tenant asked.
“I’m 81 years old,” he answered.
The tenant shook her head. “They sure grow up fast, don’t they?”
Thomas Clements, Catonsville, Maryland
More: Fuy Stories, Military Jokes, Old Age Jokes
The Case of The Illegal Mah-Jong Game
Police in Tampa, Florida, raided and shut down a weekly $4-a-round mah-jongg game played by four u2028elderly women. The Week asked its readers for titles of crime movies that could be made about this bust:
Golden Girls, Interrupted
The Lavender Hair Mob
Indicting Miss Daisy
No Country for Old Women
The Social Security Network
More: Old Age Jokes, Puns
Pick a Husband, Any Husband
As the hostess at the casino u2028buffet showed me to my table, I asked her to keep an eye out for my u2028husband, who would be joining me u2028momentarily. I started to describe him: “He has gray hair, wears glasses, has a potbelly …”
She stopped me there. “Honey,” she said, “today is senior day. They all look like that.”
Rosalie Daria, Cinciati, Ohio
More: Customer Service Jokes, Fuy Stories, Old Age Jokes
Fishing For Whiskey
“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
From A Prairie Home Companion
More: Bar Jokes, Dumb and Fuy Jokes, Fuy Stories, Old Age Jokes
“Come Out With Your Pants Up!”
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they tued 60 and that’s the law.
—Jerry Seinfeld
More: Fuy Quotes, Old Age Jokes, One-Liners
The Time Traveling Soldier
When a soldier came to the u2028clinic where I work for an MRI, he was put into the machine by an u2028attractive, young technician. Sometime later, when the examination u2028was over, he was helped out of the machine by a far older woman. The soldier remarked, “How long was u2028I in there for?”
Joae Korman, Bedford, Nova Scotia
More: Fuy Stories, Military Jokes, Old Age Jokes
Subscribe at a GREAT price!
JOKES
Old Age Jokes
Aged To Perfection
The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Recently, a neighbor tued 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. Even his son tued up.
“How old are you?” a tenant asked.
“I’m 81 years old,” he answered.
The tenant shook her head. “They sure grow up fast, don’t they?”
Thomas Clements, Catonsville, Maryland
More: Fuy Stories, Military Jokes, Old Age Jokes
The Case of The Illegal Mah-Jong Game
Police in Tampa, Florida, raided and shut down a weekly $4-a-round mah-jongg game played by four u2028elderly women. The Week asked its readers for titles of crime movies that could be made about this bust:
Golden Girls, Interrupted
The Lavender Hair Mob
Indicting Miss Daisy
No Country for Old Women
The Social Security Network
More: Old Age Jokes, Puns
Pick a Husband, Any Husband
As the hostess at the casino u2028buffet showed me to my table, I asked her to keep an eye out for my u2028husband, who would be joining me u2028momentarily. I started to describe him: “He has gray hair, wears glasses, has a potbelly …”
She stopped me there. “Honey,” she said, “today is senior day. They all look like that.”
Rosalie Daria, Cinciati, Ohio
More: Customer Service Jokes, Fuy Stories, Old Age Jokes
Fishing For Whiskey
“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
From A Prairie Home Companion
More: Bar Jokes, Dumb and Fuy Jokes, Fuy Stories, Old Age Jokes
“Come Out With Your Pants Up!”
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they tued 60 and that’s the law.
—Jerry Seinfeld
More: Fuy Quotes, Old Age Jokes, One-Liners
The Time Traveling Soldier
When a soldier came to the u2028clinic where I work for an MRI, he was put into the machine by an u2028attractive, young technician. Sometime later, when the examination u2028was over, he was helped out of the machine by a far older woman. The soldier remarked, “How long was u2028I in there for?”
Joae Korman, Bedford, Nova Scotia
More: Fuy Stories, Military Jokes, Old Age Jokes
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